I saw my mom for the first time since December 3 last night. That was one of those moments. Today we ate lunch together and basically talked about life. I shared a lot with her about my New Testament class and all of the things that I'm learning in it. It's great because she was a convert at 17 and there is a lot she still does not know. I love that I can share things with her. One of the things we were talking about? Having faith. Having faith that when it all goes wrong, maybe it's things going RIGHT in the long run. Having faith in ourselves and our beliefs. Having faith that we will understand everything one day, that even though it may not make sense now, it will all fall together eventually.
I started to think about my life today and how it would be if I would not have gone to Idaho. If I would not have stayed in Georgia for the rest of my senior year. Someone asked me today, "So why BYU-Idaho?"
It was as I was pondering this question that I realized, had I not come to Idaho, I would have fallen away. It's a truth I hate to think about, but it's a truth none the less. I am humble enough to admit that I would not have had the strength at that point in my life to live somewhere that did not have the honor code. Even if I was in provo I do not think that I would have grown as much spiritually as I have here. I realized how blessed I am to have so many guidelines to follow. There may be times when I really take them for granted, but if I step back and look at the big picture, I have become stronger, better than I was before I got here. I can go places and not worry about whether I will be strong enough to resist things. I know people say they don't like Rexburg because it's too sheltered, but we will never get another experience to live life where the same thing is expected from each person, and people are actually willing to follow it, again. It's helped me develop a new respect for myself and see the great things that I am capable of.
And Georgia? If I would have moved back to Arizona, it would have meant disaster for me. I would have felt obligated to hang out with the same people I had been friends with before, not to say they are bad people because they were all each amazing, but they led the life that I knew I couldn't lead any longer. There would have been no possibilities of a Rexburg. There would have been higher chances of me falling away. I'm so lucky that I had a family kind enough to extend their hand to me and let me stay with them when I needed to be in Georgia. I cannot believe the amazing luck I have had. It's not luck at all, in fact. It's pure blessings. I have been blessed with so much more than I deserve, and I am forever in debt.
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