Those Days Where We Feel We Can't Go On...

Today was another Sunday when I woke up. Brushed my teeth, my hair, got ready and headed to church. It was stake conference. To be blatantly honest, I've never been able to pay much attention during stake conferences. I find my mind wondering and look at the clock repetitively throughout the entire two hours. Today was different. I started out with a prayer with my roommate Shannon. I knew that if I asked for the ability to listen and hear what I needed to hear, I would. And I did. There were things that were said that I needed to hear. I needed to hear about how I need to make time to attend the temple. I needed to hear more about how important the family is. I needed to hear that it will all be okay as long as we align our wants with our Heavenly Fathers wants for us. 

I've been thinking a lot about serving a mission. It comes up a lot in casual conversations I have with other members. It's going to be two years from this coming Thursday that I can actually serve. I'm not sure exactly where I will be in life, but I know that I want to keep that as a possibility if other factors do not step in to the equation. 

Tonight was a bit harder. It's when I'm not around people that I feel down. I don't know why I've always been like that. Maybe it's because throughout my life I feel like I've had people coming and going and would just like a little consistency. I don't feel like I really have a place I can call my own home. I lived in Georgia my senior year, but halfway through my mom had to move back to Arizona and I chose to stay behind. I have no family in Georgia. But because I was not living in Arizona or California where my Dad lives, I do not feel like I have anything to go back to. I feel like I'm going for a visit. 

Rexburg has become more of my home than anywhere, but there's still that lack of consistency, of people coming and going. Blast this track system, it will be the death of me. But one thing that is consistent in my life is the church. No matter where I go, it stays the same. It is organized the same. I know I'm wanted there. That is where the home is perfected. That is what my future family will be centered on. I'm grateful that I have such a great truth in my life, and something that is not going to change and leave me feeling alone and with nowhere to run. I'm grateful that I know I have a Savior that I can go to. It's these days that I'm thankful for having, because it makes the others even better.