I wake up in the morning about 3 hours before I want to due to hunger pangs. Hunger pangs. And if I don't eat quick enough, I will feel like throwing up for the next few hours. So I go to the kitchen and eat. Well, eating also makes me feel nauseous. So I have to decide, hunger pangs nausea, or eating nausea. I know I need to eat so I try. Usually it's half a bagel. It takes me about 20 minutes to eat it. I then have to put my dishes in the dishwasher, and as I am doing that I have to tell myself that I can NOT be the person who throws up in the dishwasher. About 30 minutes to an hour later, since I didn't eat more than half a bagel, the hunger pangs are back. Followed by nausea. Followed by nausea of eating. This goes on ALL DAY. That's right, all day. It's literally a constant battle trying to not feel nauseous. I know it's not like that for everyone, but it's like that for me. At 8 weeks, I know I'm lucky because I'm not vomiting (literally just had to try to figure out which variation of the word wouldn't make me want to do that very thing while editing after) and I'm not having to go to the hospital for IVs like a few of my friends. However, it is really hard being on the verge of getting,ehem, sick all day long. Don't get me wrong, there are moments of relief, but they come very infrequently. The best way to explain it I think is imagine the in-between moments as the day after you have the stomach flu. You feel weak, your stomach feels off, and the thought of eating makes you nauseous all over again.
But guys, it's manageable. I mean, chances are before the week is up, I'll call and ask for medication because it's interfering with my daily schedule (it's rough looking for a job when all you can do is lay on the couch and hope the nausea stays at bay long enough for you to drink the glass of water that your increased blood volume is making you yearn for), but still, it's manageable.
I have to give my kudos to those who feel this way and chase a toddler around. I was telling Bryce the other day as I sat on the floor of our shower (hint, it's not a bathtub shower, I just couldn't stand up without feeling like I was dying) that I wasn't so sure I wanted to do the whole "4-5 kids" thing anymore ;) Obviously it's worth it, but man, it's rough.
Coupled with the exhaustion you feel growing a human life, yes, I would say being pregnant is REALLY hard.
We finally told my in-laws the other day, mainly because I couldn't handle trying to act normal when I was feeling sick constantly. Bryce wanted to wait for the ultrasound but that was almost 3 weeks away! I couldn't make it.
I know that I am SO blessed to have a miracle inside my belly. I don't want people to think I don't appreciate the ability I have to carry a child, because I know I am SO so blessed. I know the sickness and tiredness and pain (you get cramps when you're pregnant, did you know? Me either, so it terrifies me and I have to ask every pregnant/past pregnant person if it's normal no matter how many times they tell me it is) will all be SO worth it. All of my friends are having their tiny humans and I keep telling myself "that's going to be me in 32 weeks. Every time I look over at my extremely good-looking husband, and get to wonder if our kids will have his perfect lips, his piercing blue eyes, his long eyelashes, I know how special it is. I am one lucky woman, and though it's hard, we know that nothing that takes hard work ever leaves us disappointed in the end ;)
9-23-14
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