How Have I Progressed?

I turn 19 years old today. It makes me wonder, what have I done for 19 years? Have I changed anyones life? Have I progressed? After all, progression is what this life is all about, right?

I was in New Testament Wednesday night when we were turning through John. We talked about many things, but there were specific things that stuck. We spoke of the sacrament. What a promise it is that we make each time we partake of the sacrament... We promise to love the savior, and what he has done for us, and to keep his commandments. That doesn't mean to pick and choose. That doesn't mean "well i go to church every sunday, so I'm in the clear... it's not the end of the world if I keep making this wrong choice, after all, its not that bad..." No, this means that we will strive to be like Him. That we will turn to him and ask for forgiveness when we stray. Our God is a forgiving God, and his son has made it possible for us to take that forgiveness and be clean.
What about after Christ initiated the sacrament? He is about to do the single most important act in the entire universe, that will ever happen. And what do they do before? They sing a hymn...
Brother Walquist asked us to think about what hymn we would want to sing with Christ before he went and paid for the Worlds sins. He then had one man read his favorite verse from the song he would sing...
Lead Kindly light. He started to read the words, then another woman had to continue to read it for him as he was overcome with emotion...

I was not ever thus, nor pray'd that thou shouldst lead me on.
I loved to choose and see my path but now,
Lead thou me on!
I loved the garish day, and spite of fears,
Pride ruled my will. 
Remember not past years.


I myself started crying as I read these words. We then turned to How Great Thou Art.
What a song! How Great is He? This man, who paid for the sins of not just this world, but the Universe... He is Great. Last we turned to Be Still My soul...

Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful wil remain.
Be still, my soul: THy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.


I could not help the tears. I could not stop thinking about this man. How could someone love ME this much? After all the pain I caused him, how could he do this for ME?

Brother Walquist invited us to take a walk with him, as the apostles of Christ, giving some of us the title of Peter, or James, or John. We went out into the cold and no one was to say a word. We brought our scriptures with us and were opened to Joseph Smith Translation. Brother Walquist told the 8 apostles (most of the class) to wait at the "gate" and took the 3 others with him, I being among the "three"... We then read the verse where it explains that the apostles had doubt in their hearts, asking themselves "is this The Messiah?" And then Jesus rebuked them.
Brother Walquist then turned to us and said "How is it that you have doubt? You KNOW who I am. You've seen so many miracles. You have heard the voice of God. You know me..."
I couldn't help the tears from spilling over. How dare I doubt that Jesus is the Messiah? As I walked back to the classroom, this was the question in my head.
I have seen the miracles of his hand in my life, and those that I love. I have seen him change the hearts of men. I have felt the witness of the truthfulness of his life, and the atonement. I have FELT the atonement working in my life. So how dare I doubt? i KNOW. I know that Christ lives. I know that I belong to his true church that has the restored gospel, the only church that has the fulness of the Gospel. I know my Father lives. I have a testimony of these things. I will never falter away. How can I doubt?
The answer is, I should not. There is no good reason to do so. So I will not.

I am 19 years old. What have I done so far in my life, to be more like He who has gone through so much to give me a life filled with love and truth, and light?