To begin, Bryce and I were coming to a turning point in our lives. I was getting close to graduating, and Bryce and I would be moving from Utah back up to Idaho where I would begin my career as a Dental Hygienist, and Bryce would be going back to working on his Health Care Administration Degree. I was at the point where I was constantly thinking about babies. It was embarrassing... We had discussed when we thought would be a good time to start a family, and we wanted it to be after I graduated. After praying about it and not feeling anything holding us back (besides those nerves... I mean we were talking about creating a human life that we would be responsible for FOREVER...) we decided I would stop taking my birth control at the end of my cycle right before I graduated.
The main reason I was more on the anxious side to get started was because almost all of my friends were having a hard time getting pregnant, so I thought "this might take MUCH longer than I am thinking it will.." After all, some friends had been trying for a few months, some over a year, and some for a few years. I had also had some friends (quite a few, unfortunately) miscarry. I was terrified that this too would happen, so it was almost like in my mind, it would inevitably happen and we would have to try all over again... It didn't happen, but in my mind I overthink absolutely everything.
So graduation comes and goes, and Bryce and I are back in Idaho. I was supposed to be starting my cycle in a few days, and I thought "hmm, it's probably negative, but let's check!".... Big fat negative. Oh well, I told myself, I will have a lot of negatives in the future, I should probably get used to it. The day I was supposed to start came around, and I thought for sure if I took a pregnancy test that day, it would show up positive. Another negative.. "Enough torturing yourself, Car!" I told myself. But then another day went by and it hadn't come... and then another day. So I woke up and ran to the dollar store (hey, those things are pricey, and I figured since I was a few days late it would definitely show up).... I actually had to use the restroom so I went in the dollar store and... STOP READING HERE IF YOU DON'T LIKE DETAILS.... after I was finished, my heart sank. Well, there's the red.... guess I don't need to take that test. I folded a pad out of toilet paper and headed home. But the rest of the day there was nothing... no spotting at all... so I thought okay let me just take one more test. Negative again. THAT'S IT. I'M DONE. It's coming and that's all there is to it. Two days later mine and Bryce's friends were getting married, so I decided not to take one more test because I didn't want to be grumpy on their special day lol. Maybe if I was a week late I would take another, but not any sooner. So the rest of the weekend I tried not to think about it.
The following Monday, we headed down to Utah. Bryce and I were going to be going on a trip to Hawaii with our best friends Charles and Chelsey. Chelsey had found out she was pregnant the previous month, so we were thrilled to have a last hoorah, and celebrate graduating, and get excited for that cute baby. On the trip down I still hadn't started. I was officially 6 days late. So I asked Bryce if he thought I was, and he goes "I think there's a 70% chance you are." Well when Chelsey found out I still hadn't started my cycle, she flipped out telling me she still had a pregnancy test. "You can take it RIGHT NOW!" She exclaimed. I told her I would take it the next day. She was very excited because this was a fancy digital test... I'd never taken a digital but I figured that'd be the worst to actually READ "Not Pregnant" on a screen. Nevertheless, I promised her I would take it first thing the next morning since I would be a week late.
I literally could not sleep all that night! The thought that everything could change, or that everything would stay exactly the same, was driving me nuts. Finally at 3:30 am, I decided that it was stupid for me to wait, it had been far enough past my cycle that it would show up by now for sure. So I got up and grabbed the test. I went in the bathroom, did my thang, then waited. I set a timer. Or counted.. I can't really remember. But I looked at the screen after that long 2 minutes... and it said "pregnant". I didn't think it was real. I stared at it for about 3 minutes to be positive... Then I took a picture to make sure it really said it. Then I took 10 more pictures. Then I just sat there on Chelsey's bathroom floor, thinking that it didn't seem real, but these tests don't really lie.. at least when they say positive... I then ran into the room we were staying in and grabbed a shirt I had made.
SIDE STORY: I had made this shirt before we moved back to Idaho. I knew that in Orem there were some printing places and cheap t-shirts, I think it's called Tiger Lilly, and I had them make a shirt that said "Napping for two" that I had seen I think on pinterest or Etsy. When the guy was making it, I was NOT pregnant (well I could've been about to be... it was right after graduating but right before boards... so literally days before that could've been it...) ANYWAYS, he goes "I'm guessing you're pregnant?" And I was not about to explain to a stranger that I was a crazy person who was not pregnant, but was making an announcement shirt for when I was... so I lied. "Haha yeah" oh my gosh I felt so guilty.... back to the story though.
I changed into my t-shirt I had made, went back into the bathroom, took a picture or 5 in it, then took a video. I haven't even watched the video since. But I'll post it in here... it's probably me just being like oh my gosh oh my gosh and being embarrassing but whatever. After all that, I went back into the bedroom and DIDN'T tell Bryce. I thought I would go to sleep, we would wake up, he would see my shirt, and it would be all cute.
That was the worst I had slept! I kept dreaming that I would wake up and the test actually said "negative".... Finally 8 o'clock rolled around and Bryce was up! I sat up and he saw my shirt, and said "really???" and I smiled and we just hugged for a long time. And laughed. No crying, but it was just so surreal! It felt like a big fat lie, but it was real. I asked if I could go wake Chels up and tell her, so I ran to her bedroom after Charles was already up. The minute I walked in, she woke up and smiled and then saw my shirt and pulled me in for literally the biggest hug in the world. Probably the longest too. She really is the greatest friend, she was genuinely so so happy that I was pregnant, and I was so so happy that I could share such an exciting moment with my best friend! We were going to be pregnant together (though from afar) and have tiny humans together. Isn't that the dream!?
So that's my story. That red from the dollar store was implantation bleeding. I can literally calculate when everything happened going off that... It also happened a week after it should have, which explains why my little girl measures 6 days behind when they go off of the first day of my last cycle. I ovulated later than I should have because I was off birth control and my body was trying to figure out what was going on. But it was such a happy and unreal day for me.
I should explain a bit more... I had cramps like crazy. They felt just like menstrual cramps. So that's why I kept thinking "it'll come tomorrow" etc. Then after I took the test, I was STILL getting bad cramps.. The entire way down to Vegas that day, I had cramps and I was terrified I would be miscarrying. So if you are newly pregnant, please know this is NORMAL. If I didn't have Chelsey, I would have had about 15 breakdowns. She calmed me down and told me what was normal.
Anyways, I hope that someone thinks it's a cool story to read, or maybe it'll just be cool for me to read one day. As I sit here with my little girl squirming everywhere and kicking up around my ribs, I feel so so elated with joy. I love being pregnant.
One thing I wanted to say. We got pregnant extremely quickly, and I know that does not happen for most people. I don't ever want to say "yes, we are really blessed it happened so fast" because that would to me be saying those who don't get pregnant right away or for year aren't "really blessed". I believe 100% in the Lord's timing. He knows us perfectly, knows us from beginning to end, and is constantly blessing us in ways that we can't understand. Always trust in His timing. He is a perfect being, and our timing may not always be in line with His.
Now for the embarrassing pictures and even more embarrassing video that I just watched for the first time:
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